We all have different coping mechanisms; some take comfort in food, some in music, and some in an activity like exercise. If it’s an emotional trauma, I cut my hair short, or at least trim it quite a bit. But sometimes I’ll go for a run at the park, ranting to the surrounding trees (only if no one’s around). If it’s stress, I cut my fingernails short, pace around the room, and drink a lot of red tea. When hurt and/or sad, I cry till the pain is almost all out of me, then blast electronic music through my earphones.
Before you read this post, did you know about all these? I am of the view that, to fully understand someone – or at least come close to doing so – you need to see that someone at her happiest, at her most vulnerable, at her best, and at her worst. If you’ve only seen me at my happiest and best, and you don’t know even one of my coping mechanisms – how can you say that you know me well? With me you aren’t even grazing the tip of the iceberg.
And it’s not that I’m intentionally hiding anything either. Fact is, you aren’t trying. And a relationship, romantic or not, will not withstand the trials of time without genuine effort from both persons. Nothing will come out of it if I am the only one aching from all that work.
Do you want this to work..? Will you make this work?