busy as a bee

Woke up at 7am,
gave tuition at 9am,
rushed to another student’s house for tuition at 11am,
grabbed something light to eat,
rushed to the driving centre,
travelled to Westmall for a very late lunch,
shopped at Watsons (there’s an evil force at work there… I can never step out of that store without buying at least one item -_- I spent $70 there today -_-),
chilled in the library for 2 hours excitedly flipping through Lonely Planet guides (one of them on Tibet – omg) and a huge book about “501 places in the wilderness you must visit before you die” and literally grinning to myself with a glisten in my eyes as I felt wanderlust filling every part of me (haha omg I was like a bit psychotic with wonder / awe / excitement / yearning),
hung out with a friend at night.

I both hate and love days like this, it’s like my entire day’s schedule is totally packed, not to mention there is variety (i.e. not doing one thing for the whole day). Takes my mind off things — reading travel guides makes me salivate, complete with a crazed look LOL, effectively resulting in me forget all problems. :) Feels good, feels right.

But next week will be hellish once again, I just know it. Sigh. Feeling very bogged down these days. :/

——–

I miss having music as a huge part / the focus of my life. It’s become such a thing of the past that my current friends have never even seen me hold a violin/viola or place my fingers on a piano. It used to be that the majority of my friends were in the music class, or in an ensemble or band… Have I come a long way? I’d always wanted to cast that part of me aside then, but now as cheesy as it sounds it feels as if there is a chunk missing from me and from my life. Sigh, I feel so disconnected and disoriented — music used to be part of my identity, now I don’t have anything to go back to, I can’t discuss with my friends this long-lost dusty passion of mine that I’ve tucked away for so long. And no – occasionally tinkering on the piano really isn’t enough. But how can I expect you to understand or empathise? You who have never seen me through anytime in the 11 years in my life when I had been thoroughly immersed in music? I guess it’s a little more than grossly heartbreaking and disappointing when my current friends look upon Music with such dismissal and disregard.

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