5 Things More of Us Should Do

1. Filter your Facebook Friends list regularly

Forget about maintaining a long friends list just for the sake of the numbers. Have 824 friends but 300 of them can barely be considered acquaintances (e.g. you’ve only talked to them once at that one school event and never again for the past 2 years)? Delete them.

Same goes for Facebook friends whom you only contact when you need them to “Vote for my handsome friend who is in one of those university pageants and really deserves to win and your help is greatly appreciated so please vote for this guy even though you don’t know shit about him and you should help me just because I asked ever so sincerely and I even put a smiley :) ok what about double smileys :) :)? Thanks!!!!!111”

2. Go through ‘Social Detox’ once in a while

Apply the Facebook Friends Filter (see #1) to your IRL friends at least once a year. Just like how your body needs some sort of detox from time to time after you have been religiously poisoning it because you are far too much of a lazy ass to have the discipline to give up all that mighty delicious junk food, your social life can do with a good ol’ detox or two as well.

Feel intense dislike for a certain person but still hanging out with him/her not because you cannot cut him off but because you don’t have the balls to shrink your massive circle of ‘friends’ and threaten your ‘social standing’? Be kinder to yourself; surround yourself with people you genuinely like and who genuinely like you back, and stay away from people who make you think bad thoughts about yourself and others.

It is perfectly okay not to be ‘popular’. Not everyone thrives on being a social butterfly, so give yourself a break and stop trying so hard.

3. Be yourself

Trite as it may be, the idea of being true to ourselves still doesn’t seem to be within grasp of many people around me despite them having been living in this world for 20 years or so. It really isn’t that difficult to just try to be yourself.

Stop being so bothered over having to act a certain way just so you can be accepted into a group. So what if you become popular with them eventually? They are enjoying the fake version of you, not who you really are. Note that here I’m asking for you to be comfortable in your own skin and “do your thang”, and not asking for you to consciously try hard to be different from everyone else and stand out (unless that is who you really are).

You don’t have to always say what you mean, but the least you can do is to mean what you say. Don’t be a hypocritical, many-faced person who is viewed by the public one way but acts in a totally different way only when you are alone. Pursue what you love without inhibition and reject what you are certain you hate, and realise that you don’t have to do something just because other people expect you to.

Finally: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

4. Be patient with Cupid

Maybe it’s the recent explosion of 9GAG that led to the Forever Alone meme being popularised, or maybe it has all along been the case that people tend to lose their patience with love and relationships too easily, but everyone needs to chill out and have a beer and take a deep breath and repeat this to ourselves maybe once a day: “It is okay to be single.”

No, being ‘evergreen’ (i.e. never been in a relationship) at 21 does not mean that you are going to be Forever Alone. Neither does having a 3-year dry spell with love necessarily mean that you are going to continue being single for the next 10 or 20 years. Love will come — it really is just a matter of when and with whom.

Cupid is a busy little cherub; you gotta be patient with him. Love will come — often when you least expect it — and I’m not saying this purely for the sake of it. So tone down the desperation and anxiety a notch. Think twice before you rush into short-lived romances, look for meaningless flings, or hop from rebound to rebound. Unless you are a 40-year-old evergreen virgin, I see neither rhyme nor reason that you should be worrying your heart out. Enjoy your singlehood and trust me when I say it isn’t the end of the world if you aren’t attached by the time you finish your university education.

5. Learn to let go

People change, feelings fade, and (both platonic and romantic) relationships end. Whether you are the one leaving or the one being left, learn to accept the situation and handle it with care and maturity. I have seen one too many individuals getting so hung up over the end of an important relationship that the bitterness, resentment, depression, anger, and/or regret lingers over them like a dark storm cloud for far too long until it consumes them.

It is unhealthy to hold on to all that unhappiness for a long time and it does absolutely no good most of the time, so why are you still cursing under your breath at that jerk of an ex-lover who jilted you a year ago? Why are you still wondering what may have been if you had been a better friend to your former best friend? Why are you still blaming yourself for drifting away in your previous long-distance relationship?

Let go, and move on. Put down the heaviness in your heart. You don’t necessarily have to forget, but you do need to learn to forgive others and yourself.

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1 comment
  1. Apple said:

    meaningful and true.

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