busy as a bee

Woke up at 7am,
gave tuition at 9am,
rushed to another student’s house for tuition at 11am,
grabbed something light to eat,
rushed to the driving centre,
travelled to Westmall for a very late lunch,
shopped at Watsons (there’s an evil force at work there… I can never step out of that store without buying at least one item -_- I spent $70 there today -_-),
chilled in the library for 2 hours excitedly flipping through Lonely Planet guides (one of them on Tibet – omg) and a huge book about “501 places in the wilderness you must visit before you die” and literally grinning to myself with a glisten in my eyes as I felt wanderlust filling every part of me (haha omg I was like a bit psychotic with wonder / awe / excitement / yearning),
hung out with a friend at night.

I both hate and love days like this, it’s like my entire day’s schedule is totally packed, not to mention there is variety (i.e. not doing one thing for the whole day). Takes my mind off things — reading travel guides makes me salivate, complete with a crazed look LOL, effectively resulting in me forget all problems. :) Feels good, feels right.

But next week will be hellish once again, I just know it. Sigh. Feeling very bogged down these days. :/

——–

I miss having music as a huge part / the focus of my life. It’s become such a thing of the past that my current friends have never even seen me hold a violin/viola or place my fingers on a piano. It used to be that the majority of my friends were in the music class, or in an ensemble or band… Have I come a long way? I’d always wanted to cast that part of me aside then, but now as cheesy as it sounds it feels as if there is a chunk missing from me and from my life. Sigh, I feel so disconnected and disoriented — music used to be part of my identity, now I don’t have anything to go back to, I can’t discuss with my friends this long-lost dusty passion of mine that I’ve tucked away for so long. And no – occasionally tinkering on the piano really isn’t enough. But how can I expect you to understand or empathise? You who have never seen me through anytime in the 11 years in my life when I had been thoroughly immersed in music? I guess it’s a little more than grossly heartbreaking and disappointing when my current friends look upon Music with such dismissal and disregard.

Words of yours —

I think my eczema (on my legs) is returning. What the hell?! I can’t even have normal, problem-free skin for at least two days? ~_~ And now I can’t wear shorts and skirts again. So annoying. I hate rashes and unsightly scars.

Anyway, my new PJC tutee is quite cute haha I enjoy teaching her. I mean, at least she doesn’t go, “errrrrrrrr okayyyyyyyyyyy. (long pause) can you explain again?” haha and she at least tells me immediately when she doesn’t understand instead of, what, 3 lessons after like the other tutee. ~_~

Also I spotted a few potentially good reads at Harris today! When my salary cheque is finally processed by the bank I will try to find those books and BUY THEM AND SATISFY MY BOOK LUST. Hahahaha. Really feel like reading now, I think my heart and mind have been pretty chaotic recently. Also I saw a super cute and sweet crochet cardigan, I HOPE NOBODY BUYS IT because I will go snatch it up as well when my cheque is banked in.

I have 2 other tutees tomorrow. I now have, what, 6 tutees? and I expect more new tutees, haha, as A Levels approach / more people find their J1 year hard to manage. But it’s quite tiring trying to balance giving tuition and my office job… But it’s okay! Because I need the money!! Need to pay YT back that enormous amount of money. Sigh.

BTW I think I need new flats! My grey pair is quite battered and worn out haha, I abused it too much. ): Also I want to add some new tops to my wardrobe. Hope my Threadless tees come really soon!!!! *excited*

These few months will be quite hectic, what with office job (9am – 6pm) + tuition (3 tutees want 2-hour sessions at least once a week) + uni interview(s?) + driving (practical lessons AND theory lessons… kns) + my secret event ^^ + reading + exercise (YES I AM RLY GNA EXERCISE, all you skeptics wipe that smug smile off your face LOL).

Life has become slightly more aimless this holiday, I think. Because there isn’t the next lecture test or class quiz to prepare for, there are no clear deadlines / milestones which are marked out and defined, there is no pressure to do everything at the same pace as everyone else’s. But my schedule is still quite packed, and I also feel a greater sense of accomplishment whenever I finish something. Because I went at my own pace and I managed to complete it without external pressure. Idk about you guys, but it feels like I am more independent and mature these days, haha. Probably due to the new responsibilities — I have to manage my own schedule, manage my own finances, manage the pace at which I work so as to not burn out, etc.

I quite like this. Even though it’s kind of a limbo period.

AND THE COLD TURKEY BEGINS

…

/

The NUS USP application essay is like, sian ttm. So taxing on my brain, I don’t want to think so much. My brain is degenerating, and I’m not very interested in exercising it at the moment. Also I’m damn lazy to fill up the Optional section of the NTU application. But I need NTU Business and Comms Studies as a backup. ~_~ I remember the USA universities’ applications to be more interesting than this.

I got a new tutee! Which is great. But at the same time I stopped tuition with another girl. So my income remains the same. I’m so tight on cash now I feel like crying.

Music that I’ve been listening to these days:

• Kid Cudi
• Franz Ferdinand
• Arctic Monkeys
• Chris Brown
• MGMT
• Mademoiselle K
• Two Door Cinema Club
• T.O.P & GDragon
• Jack Conte

I have been having fitful sleep recently, too. I just had a horrifying nightmare the other day, and then this morning again, the type that makes my insides curl up, my eyes tear up and leaves my mouth in a silent scream.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could sleep like [this].

actually 19 isn’t very old la hor

Why is my immune system so noob.. why am I so weak!): I’m sick again, got a new cold. Right after I recovered from my terrible cough. ):

And in the morning I made a trip down to D‘s house to give him tuition. And turns out his whole family was out. D‘s mum forgot to inform me. Sooo… wasted trip. Haha but I got to talk to their neighbour, this cute hunky guy WHOO HAHAHA wow second handsome person in a week! I go to school for two years and I didn’t see even two cute guys… LOLJK.

And I managed to take a photo of D‘s dog!

But sadly her puppy (very very cute, completely white and small haha) got sold off I think. So she wasn’t there anymore.

Hehehe soulful eyes. :)

Another weekend spent being a loser cooped up at home because of sickness. (sadface) Haha but I guess I get to save up money this way! Especially since next week I’m going to splurge … hehehe can’t wait.

mushroom coloured nails

Awesome day :)

Tuition sessions went well; D was falling asleep, hahaha but still very well-behaved and smart, and his mum extended the duration to 2 hours, which means more $$. :P And his dogs were super cute to me again. I will take a photo of them next time!! Met D‘s dad and he was v friendly. :)

M was okay as usual, tuition sessions with her remind me of my love for Chemistry. And I realised that the people in her neighbourhood are super friendly.. Her neighbours saw me through the metal grills of her gate and said hello enthusiastically, and then later construction workers in the area were greeting and chatting with the residents amiably. M‘s mum and dad were damn smiley and happy and welcoming too! *sigh* I don’t even know how my neighbours look like.

Also I managed to find a replacement end for my industrial piercing barbell!!!! YIPEE!!! Lost it yesterday and panicked like crazy so this is a huge relief for me.

My holidays are starting to get busy, and I really like it that way. Gotta remember to finish reading my library books with all these going on. Oh yeah I painted my nails a new colour and Qianwen says it’s like the colour of mushrooms haha. Me likey~

Running tomorrow. Wooopwoop~

(I WENT SHOPPING AGAIN BTW. KILL ME PLZ. ): Haha but I love the stuff I bought. Very practical and pretty stuff. :P)

soggy mood

ok kitty peektures to brighten up the mood haha. starting to feel a little listless. Anyway that fat cat was damn cute haha it nuzzled up to me once I sat down beside it. Hehe. Maybe it wanted food, idk, but still very sweet to come up to me!! It’s fat and likes me. :) I like dogs better haha but I still like cats very much.

I got a damn nasty paper cut, anyway. Farrrkkk. Damn pain! What’s more, it’s under my fingernail because the paper managed to get under the nail and cut the sensitive soft part there FML and it was bleeding quite badly. Blood clot under the nail lol wtf pain. It hurts even when I lick my fingers after eating french fries. -_-

Wah.. Fat Cat actually looks slim here haha. Nice kitty. Both of my tutees happened to have medium sized dogs. One was a CKC Spaniel + her puppies (with a totally white coat and still weak and huddling together awww), and another had… I’m not sure, I think it’s a spaniel too but a different type? It likes me. :)

Hmmm. Kay. This isn’t helping much, I still feel quite melancholic…. =/

Oh ya, SPH Writing Exercise tomorrow. Sigh I hate feeling such low confidence in myself but I can’t help it y’know, considering that so many people who are damn zai in GP apply for the scholarship. =/ Wa good timing, I’m feeling so … “soggy” now and it starts to rain heavily. Dampening..

I wish you would hold my hand and tell me everything is gonna be fine.

attention

look at this photo (taken by sheila at butter) somehow i find it very nice haha it’s like oozing happiness and fun! i like it! :) woop~ woop~

anyway i’ve got two tuition assignments and damn it’s pretty stressful. plus my SPH selection test (writing) is next week and imma burst with anxiety!! wa after A levels still feeling some stress.. most people are probably already bumming around without any worry about what’s to come in the near future.

oh ya and tenille just reminded me that i need plans for New Year’s Eve!! maybe i’ll sleep through the countdown this year. :) the 08 09 10 countdowns had been quite eventful, i think i need a break this year haha. or maybe it’s because i’m 18 already and mellowing down…… LOL

ok and i just leveled up in maple. :) i’m level 30 now. YES!!! but my evan’s dragon also evolved so it’s ARGLY.

i want to go out!!! and borrow books from the library too HAHA.

bye~